Culture always speaks–are you listening?

Listening to rupture, honoring reflection, choosing realignment.

Over the past month, I’ve found myself immersed in work that seeks to address ruptures—some acknowledged, others avoided. Work that invites leaders to rebuild trust and realign with their stated values.

At the core of this work? Culture.

More specifically, the gap between espoused culture and enacted culture—between what we say we believe and how we actually show up, especially when power, conflict, or discomfort emerge.

I know this dynamic well.

I’ve spent most of my career in relatively altruistic spaces—alongside organizations doing important work, in community with highly regarded leaders. And… I have no shortage of experiences where knowing the language of “the work,” or speaking one’s values, was valued more than embodying those values.

Where performance and accolade were prioritized over practice. Where the social feed looked good, but the people didn’t feel safe.

As I shared last month, this dissonance is part of the origin story behind the name of my consultancy: In Loving Accountability.

Because the truth is: we all fall out of alignment sometimes.

That’s not the issue. The issue..or opportunity is whether we’re willing to tell the truth about it—to be held in loving accountability—and to do the work of repair. In my experience, this is the place where culture either deepens or fractures.

A few months back, I supported a team that prides itself in its commitment to justice and equity. When I tell you, a beautiful and impactful work they're doing! The words and work are everywhere—in their mission, in their branding, in their external facing community work. But when trust broke down internally, and concerns about leadership behaviors surfaced, the gap between their espoused values and lived experiences became undeniable.

It wasn’t the mission statement that told the real story. It was the side messages sent during meetings. The decisions made in rooms few were invited into. The people who chose to leave because the culture no longer aligned with the promises made.

Culture always speaks—whether or not we choose to listen.

Sometimes it comes as a rupture.

Sometimes as a quiet erosion.

Always as an invitation.

An invitation to slow down. To notice. To tell the truth about what we are practicing. And… to choose, again, what kind of culture we are willing to build.

As you reflect on your own organization, I invite you to consider:

• What truths about your culture are surfacing right now—and are you willing to listen?

• What happens when values are in tension with behavior?

• What shifts when you pause and ask: Does our culture reflect our values? Are we building what we actually believe in?

Not too long ago, my good friend asked me, “what do you do on a day to day? But like, make it real, real plain.” I loved the invitation. 

My response:  

I wonder and I hope. I live my values and what I believe. I have faith and believe in better. On a day to day, I am supporting others with doing the same.

If your culture is speaking to you right now—through friction, transition, or quiet tension—know that it’s not too late to listen with care.

To support you in that process, I created the Culture Compass, a reflection guide designed to help you (re)align your values, rituals, communication, and daily practices. It’s grounded in Leadership as a L.O.V.E. Practice framework, and centers the experiences of Black leaders and founders, and the nuances I've noticed as brilliant, passionate leaders make the shift from practitioner to leader and steward of team.

You can explore and download it here.

My ask?

If you found this reflection helpful, send it to a founder or leader you believe could benefit. And if aligning your culture with who you strive to be is a priority for you this quarter, I invite you to schedule time with me. I’d be honored to support you.

Leadership as a LOVE Practice

In our framework, Leadership as a L.O.V.E. Practice, the principle of Values Embodied reminds us that leadership is less about what we say—and more about what we practice daily.

This month, I invite you to engage in this simple leadership practice:

Host a Culture Check-In.

• Choose one core value your organization upholds.

• Ask two questions in a team meeting or personal reflection: → Where are we living this value well? → Where are we falling short?

• Listen without defensiveness. Notice the gaps without rushing to fix or defend.

• Take one action—a small repair or reinforcement—that brings your culture closer to your values.

Liberated Love Notes:

AFFIRM: “I honor the truth of what is, while holding space for what can be. I lead with clarity, care, and the courage to realign.”